Tired of hearing culture critics from every corner belittle people who “just” want to marry, have children, and derive satisfaction from their families? Me, too. I’m Dr. James McQuivey and I’m the founder of the Born to Marry project. I have conducted one of the most comprehensive research projects to explore why some of just seem born to marry despite modern criticisms of this supposedly old-fashioned urge. Those of us who are born to marry — those who score highest on the Born to Marry test — are some of the happiest people in our modern society not to mention great contributors to their communities. As I will share in this project, some of us were likely born from the DNA up to feel three basic urges, the urge to pair bond, procreate, and protect their bonds.
Are you born to marry? If so, use this research to learn more about yourself, how you got this way, and how you can have the most fulfilling life you were born to want.
In this project, I will show that to ignore the marrying urge that you have is to ignore all the collective wisdom of thousands of generations of evolved humanity that preceded you. To pretend that you do not have the urges, tendencies and propensity to learn and act on specific motivations that you have, would be to ignore one of the most important sources of guidance you could otherwise have to light your personal path in life, including mating as well as cooperation, companionship, and alliance-making.
Further, I will argue that your in-born mating strategy is in need of some deep reexamination. Though it used to be a default strategy in western culture, it is more recently under attack by people who claim it is harmful, even oppressive. This means that today, many people who want to continue to pursue the strategy of pair bonding and procreation — because they feel it will satisfy them the most — are increasingly shamed into postponing or even hiding their real desires in order to conform to emerging, shifting norms.
My goal is to make living for marriage respectable again. To do that I will use science and research to demonstrate that being born to marry is based in our biology, that there are three biological urges embedded deep inside of us — the urge to pair bond, procreate, and protect our pair bonds – gifted to us by our genes, modified by our experience, and shaped by our cultures which we can consciously choose to embrace. I can share that contrary to what some people in the media or in Hollywood want you to believe, living blue is awesome for you and provides massive benefits to the rest of society. Those of us who are born to marry should happily serve as crucial contributors to the success and happiness of everybody, whether they feel what we feel or not.
I’ll know I’ve succeeded when people know what it takes to choose to live for marriage and they conscientiously work on being better at it. They and I will spend less time defending marriage and more time defining marriage, for ourselves, our communities, and future generations. Along the way it is my hope that the rest of society will recognize the good that we’re accomplishing and stop trying to tell us not to be who we are: born to marry.